Before I get into the meat of this discussion, I want to tell you a little story. Away back in 1982, not long after the Falkland Conflict, the ship I was serving on went for some R n R to Fort Lauderdale in Florida. That night I was in a bar called the Button Club on the sea front. I was getting merrily pissed (drunk) and having a gay (fun) old time. I picked up my pack of cigarettes to light one. (smoking was not banned anywhere back then). Oh no! I had ran out of cigarettes! I turned to the man next to me, who was smoking, and asked him if he had a spare f**. What I got was a very ungentlemanly hard punch straight in my mouth. Once I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the blood from my rather sore mouth, I ordered a another drink and pleasantly enquired, "what the f**k was that all about." How the Hell was I to know that a f** in the United States was a slang term for a homosexual!? Here in the UK a f** is a cigerette. So in the states a f** is someone who sucks on long things and in the UK a f** is a long thing that is sucked on!!

Anyway back to my point. I really need to stop smoking but I am really struggling. I started smoking when I was 13 and am now in the 4th decade of my life. Other than smoking I live a fairly healthy lifestyle. I eat a balanced diet, I go to the gym four times a week etc etc. I don't know what is harder. Breaking the habit of rolling a cigarette and lighting it or beating the addiction to nicotine. The whole addiction to nicotine is now playing havoc with my social life. Smoking is now more or less banned in all public areas in the UK. Therefore, when I go out for a drink I spend more time standing outside in the cold and the rain with my wee f** than I do with my friends inside tha bar socialising.

I am asking you for your tips and suggestions on how to stop smoking. All input would be appreciated. Cough splutter wheez!